QTNA: Can Men and Women Truly Be Friends?

The age old question that has been asked many times, many ways. Today I sit in with one of my closest friends, JB and my older brother, KB, to find their take on it. Just speaking from personal experience, it can be difficult to partake in a friendship with certain people of the opposite sex. Not to say that it is at all impossible, it just seems to be one of those things that not only affect you, but the people around you as well. Especially those that are in an intimate relationship, and have to answer questions like, "have the two of you ever slept together?" Then you have the other ones that you feel attracted to, just to be friend zoned. Overall its just a situation that could bring on many complications but it is most definitely possible.

K: Can a man be friends, or befriend a woman without any "sexual complications"? What is your take on it? Do you think a guy can be friends with a woman? Any guy? Or just you?

KB: Umm, Joi you wanna take it first ?

JB: Honestly, from my experience, I think 70% of my male friends want to fuck me. and if they could, they would.

KB: Those are confident words.

K: Very confident, and have they expressed this to you, or is this just a feeling?

JB: I can kind of tell, for real. I don't have a whole bunch of male friends so it ain't like I got like 70 male friends or something but I feel like the majority of them would if the could.

K: But how do you know this? What are the signs?

JB: The signs are usually like, just flirting too much or just saying little sneaky shit like, "shit if I were"

KB: Of course thats how you know.

JB: or "if I didn't". But its like, bruh, if you're going to be my friend. Be that. But if you're going to be out to get me, be that! But don't be both. Don't try to be both, or don't try to pretend to be one so you can get to the other. I feel like thats what a lot of dudes are on lately, they're like, "oh you can't have friends?" If you're saying that, you're already on that level anyway.

K: Hang on, that just led me to another question. So your ex, has been friends with you for how long, I don't freaking know. Then out of the blue (snaps fingers), bam we're together. Why was that line not drawn there?

JB: Why was what line not drawn where?

K : You were saying, either you're out to get me or you're trying to be my friend.

KB: Before, me personally, before I can even want to take to the next step, you gotta be my friend first. But, this is what the difference is. You gotta make it known, what the fucking intentions is, at the same time. You can't just act like you're not attracted. Like, we're just straight up friends, then one day you're looking like the wolf. You're looking like the wolf tomorrow cause you were just straight yesterday.

K: So, why do you, how do you express that, just off rip? Say, you're walking down the street and you see this girl and she is very beautiful. And everybody's had that moment when they see a girl and they're like, "dang I wish" , you know, and you approach her. Oh, I want to be your friend is not the right approach. I know if a guy approaches me and says, "I want to be your friend", I know you're a liar. Its a red flag.

KB: Um, that is true. I say, off the rip, I wouldn't state any intentions. I say, pretty much, you would like to meet that person. You would like to get to know that person, cause you don't know from the beginning what they're intentions are. Their appearance attracted you, okay, thats whatever. You don't know shit about this person so you gotta get to know them before you even say, okay I can see this being a friend. I can see this being a little something else. That takes even more time. But a male can be friends with a women, its just a thing of keeping it real with yourself and knowing what you want as a person.

K: Right, but when it comes to meeting new people and becoming friends with new people, or turning what is a friendship into a relationship with a person that is new to you. Most people that we know, we have something that automatically connects us to them. Whether it be, school or work or something like that. You know, thats how we meet people, thats an easy way to network but when you meet someone off the street, they're looking to see what your intentions are automatically, and with you saying, oh I'm trying to get to know you. There are guys that come to me and say, "I'm trying to get to know you", but I can see from the look on your face, thats not what you want.

KB: That's different then. Now you're looking at a wolf. The wolf that we were just talking about. That's somebody who just, I mean, he's just somebody thats just trying to get it in. Yeah, some people are just like that. I know, me personally, when I'm walking around I'm never looking for that. I got other shit on my plate, I got goals I'm set on, I got stuff that I'm looking at so I'm not looking. I might compliment a woman and walk off on her ass, because I legit liked what I saw and kept it moving. So, its not even always that. It's just all on the individual and what they have going on.

JB: And honesty and communication.

KB: Yeah, basically. Honesty and communication. If you ain't an honest person, you ain't gone keep it real. You're gonna walk up, just like you said, with that look in your eyes and eyes don't lie. Yeah, you gone walk up like a wolf, shit, women know. It's so many guys that put that stigma on us that, thats what it is now.

K: Okay, so, for the guys that don't know how to draw that line, cause I know most of us have plenty of friends that have tried it in same way or another, like Joi said. What was it? 70% of your male friends have tried or they want to try, just by being too flirty and how do you draw that line between being too flirty and just being friendly? It's hard to draw that line sometimes.

(okay guys, the interview got a little lengthy. Hence the reason I included a snippet of the audio this time around. Please excuse the quality but overall I hope you guys enjoy. Thanks for reading and don't forget to subscribe)