Shacking Up: Should You or Shouldn't You?

On one hand shacking up is an excellent way to become closer to your significant other as well as a way to reduce the amount of bills that the two have accumulated collectively, but what do you lose when you decide to shack?

Some say it makes since to shack because of the money factor and the closeness that you will find before the wedding, in the event that there is one of course. The question is, are you compromising your individuality or are you finding your true self? Are you shacking for love or for convenience?

I have always heard that when you live with someone you find out who they really are, but what if who they are is not what you hoped they would be like? Do you end it? It's like we live in the age of try before you buy and we've transferred it from the super markets into our personal lives.

I am a believer in waiting until after the wedding, but then again I am the girl that believes that my life as a married woman should be a picture perfect as humanly possible. I believe in the fairytales that Disney instills in our heads. Maybe it's because I'm still young but I want to live separately and flourish as an individual for as long as possible, all the while growing in my relationship. I don't want to have the opportunity to find minute things to pick and pry at so diligently that it pries me away from my mate. I want to make the compromises when we make it to that hump.

As black people, but not black people alone, we quickly make the decision to shack up with those that we love and sometimes we never make it to marriage. Not to say that it is impossible or that marriage is the only way to solidify a relationship, but a lot of times we get comfortable to and never even see it happening until the day comes for someone to decide that they want something new. As a kid I always believed that my grandparents were married, then my mom taught me about a little something called, "common law marriage", which means (not according to the dictionary of course) that two people have been together so long, they might as well be married.

As I said before, you have to get that "hump", when it is the right time, whether that be now or later. After the fact there are other decisions that must be made.

Traditionally the man was considered to the "bill payer" and the woman was suppose to be the one to care for the household (cooking, cleaning, children, etc.) but we live in a new day and I firmly believe that neither a woman or man should take sole responsibility for any single thing based on traditional values. Not saying that I believe that everything has to be completely 50/50 because how often are things split right down the middle.

A lot of women believe that the man should pay the rent/mortgage regardless of all the other bills. Some believe that the man should cover ALL of the bills and then there are the ones, like me, that believe in 60/40 and 70/30. Basically meaning that the man should pay a larger percentage of the bills than the woman all because of that title, "man of the house."

I will be the first to admit that I was told, my significant other should be able to take care of me. I should not have to ask for a single thing; Something I do believe in but at the same time am biased to. A woman should be able to efficiently care for herself prior to wanting anyone to care for her. Then again, everyone will have their own opinions about this and mine is what it is. The important thing is to live the life that truly satisfies you. What do you think ?